I had a dream about Qi An.
A very WEIRD dream about Qi An.
It involved kidnapping.
It involved 7-eleven.
It involved Mrs. Fiona Wong.
It involved my 1-year-old cousin.
It involved my mom.
It involved You And Me by Lifehouse.
It involved the police.
And lastly-It involved myself.


- from sam's blog



okay me too.
but mine was even weirder.
so weird till i cant get it out of my mind.
it seems so real.
yeah, so real...

so it involved:
- sam and qian coming to visit me at my house
-there was a birthday present prepared by me on the table( i dunno whose bdae was coming)
- two of them were talking to my mum, n i didnt even say one word to them
-apparently i like nver go to sch, tts y sam n qian come visit me.
- then i realise they nver go trg??!!
- then i was like thinking, was trg cancelled?? why is it tt only wen i nver go sch
then it cancelled??!!

- then it involved some weird place tt i dun remember what it was
- wen we finish goin tt weird place n got in the car, it was 7.30
- n we are like, only starting to drive to tkgs frm tt weird place??
- i was like thinking" damn it!! i alr got detention not bad enough ah??!! still hafta be late
one more time, furthermore will be super late!!"

-then it involved the bus stop at kallang netball centre
( i dun feel like elaborating on this part for certain reasons, so i will just say
who or wat it involved)
- buses
-yue shan
-goin on the wrong bus
- got someone worried for me
- colette
- netball seniors


yeah.
tts all.
weird huh??
for the past few nights i cant sleep properly, keep waking up in middle of the night.
wake up 1 or 2 times at 2-3am
then wake up 1 time at 3 plus
then wake up 1 time at 4 plus
then wake up 4-6 times at 5-6
then wake up twice at 7 plus
then slept all the way until 11 plus

walao.
i like tt can die wan leh.
n it has been like tt for a few nights liao.
just tt last night was worse.
then at around one am cant sleep last night ma.
so sms colette.
then fell asleep waiting for her sms.
haha.
then wen i woke up in the middle of the night,
realise she reply at 1 plus(but i slept liao, too bad luh)
then i reply her tt i keep waking up in middle of the night.
n i was super depressed last night.
i almost died.
i smsed tell col i wanna die.
then she say can commit suicide next week wen we get back our shitty results,
or wen netball starts..
hahaha.
then sms daphne too.
then i told sam over tagboard tt
I HATE MY LIFE TOO.
I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.
COSE YOU GUYS ARE THERE.
ONLY U GUYS WERE CAPABLE IN MAKING ME LAUGH.
IF I STAYED AT HOME,
I COULD JUST DIE ANYTIME.
THOUGH MY PARENTS ARE NICE,
BUT AT HOME, I CANT REALLY TELL ANYONE MY TROUBLES,
NOTHING TO MAKE ME LAUGH.
STAYING AT HOME,
NOT BEING ABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING EXCEPT 4 THOSE TROUBLES,
ITS DEPRESSING.
YES.
I FEEL REALLY TIRED OF ALL THIS.
I DUN WAN SCH, I DUN WAN TEACHERS, I DUN WAN _____,
I DUN WAN NETBALL TRG, I DUN WAN ALL THOSE SHIT.
I ONLY WAN MY FRENS THERE.
ITS REALLY TIRING.
TRYING SO HARD TO BE HAPPY,
TRYING UR BEST,
ONLY TO GET RUN DOWN BY SOMETHING OR SOMEONE IN THE END.
ITS USELESS.
oh wells.
DAPHNE.
U ARE RIGHT.
LIFE IS NVER PERFECT.
I SHOULDNT BE BOTHERED BY IT.
just as well...

-

how can i act like nothing has happened, when in fact, so many things had happened?